tsarbucks:

no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit


(Source: shialablunt)

uglyvevo:

i wish noah had swatted the two mosquitoes from his ark

(Source: sadden)

humancum:

Talking on Skype:

5% = Hi, how are you?

95% = Can you hear me?

sovji:

*steals ur credit card*

hasta la visa

(Source: sovji-moved)